Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What are some things that normal people do that religious people call sins?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t cotton to rapists

What is the most sentimental item you inherited from someone dear to you and what does it mean to you?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why is dating so frustrating and difficult for a guy?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

How can we understand the mind of a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Why cant school buses ditch kids who are late to the bus at the school? Like on the way home, if a kid is late when all the others arrived to the bus on time, why cant they leave the late kid behind since its not fair to the on time kids to wait?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

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I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

How come I can't stay sober?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I can count

How can fashion design be used to make a political statement in popular culture, and society?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I see through liars

I understand how hurricane paths work

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I actually pay taxes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fakery

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can read

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know who the president of Turkey really is